When you've lost all faith and all hope, especially when life seems to be toying and messing with your logical and emotional mind, that's when the art of abandonment set in.
How does one feel abandoned? And abandoned by who, whom, what?
You're left feeling very alone, when you've tried your best to be the best person you ever can be but no one is good to you in turn. When you've tried your best in work and is actually confident about it, but the results turn out otherwise, leaving you wondering in turmoil how to really measure your own strength. When the person you trust the most turn on you and force you to listen when you don't believe, not giving you time and giving you more stress.
The Art of Abandonment is as such.
When you look out of the window and used to see snow drifting so elegantly; but now the white innocence is a pure eyesore and a bitter embodiment of loneliness.
When you once looked at a friend you helped so much with happiness and concern, but now look at the same friend with tainted lenses.
When you see the words you loved to read turn cold and dry to read. When you avoid those very words that used to make you smile, and turn to other useless sources to wile time away.
How to heal a person subjected to abandonment?
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
depression part 1
this is the first time ever in my life that i am seeing snow.
and while it is so beautiful in its white innocence, along with it comes loneliness.
and while it is so beautiful in its white innocence, along with it comes loneliness.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Seeing with your Heart
Do we all overlook certain simple things in life, for the complexities and thrills that entice us so?
All the while in school, we have been just students rushing to meet the deadline for our projects, frantically studying for the exam we have to achieve an "A" for, and going out for a fun day with out friends. It is probably the age now, where we stop in our tracks and start thinking about the value of our lives. What do we want to do with our lives? Do we just want to continue studying in a carefree manner like how we did in primary and secondary school? Or do we feel that there's something missing in our very existence, missing that little bit of something that define us as a human being?
Now, if it is the latter, how do we go about finding our what the missing piece is?
It is very easy to miss this piece while we scramble to go about our daily lives. We follow the conventions set by our parents or seniors- after A levels, go get a job, work, apply for university courses, get the offers, make your choices and voila! We get shipped off to university. Everyone is doing this, hence we MUST do this too or we will lose out big time next time when we go out to the workforce! We MUST achieve first-class honors in order to get the first pick when we go out to the workforce! We MUST do community service or extra internships in order to boost our portfolio to impress future employers in the workforce! Yes, we MUST do all of these!
But, do we? And to what cost?
Let's say we do get first class honors, an impressive portfolio and a big job offer. Achievement unlocked! But is this really you? Does this job really fill that hole in your existence? Does this job define who you are?
In our scramble for all of these, we miss out little things in life. While walking to a class you are late for, do you notice a homeless man begging for spare change? While throwing away half a donut cause your friends criticize its nutritional value, do you notice a hungry old woman staring at it hungrily? While complaining about how your parents forced you into extra lessons in the past, do you notice a poor child looking at you enviously, wishing he had the same opportunities as you?
The point isn't as simple as us taking whatever we had for granted. The point is seeing past the superficial needs of our lives, and seeing the basic needs of the lives of the less privileged. Yes, we see them on the streets and push on awkwardly when we don't want to spare some change for them; but do we see them with our hearts?
I have seen them on the streets, and my heart has started to really see their need. This it probably the empty hole in my life, and I am going to do something about it to patch it up.
All the while in school, we have been just students rushing to meet the deadline for our projects, frantically studying for the exam we have to achieve an "A" for, and going out for a fun day with out friends. It is probably the age now, where we stop in our tracks and start thinking about the value of our lives. What do we want to do with our lives? Do we just want to continue studying in a carefree manner like how we did in primary and secondary school? Or do we feel that there's something missing in our very existence, missing that little bit of something that define us as a human being?
Now, if it is the latter, how do we go about finding our what the missing piece is?
It is very easy to miss this piece while we scramble to go about our daily lives. We follow the conventions set by our parents or seniors- after A levels, go get a job, work, apply for university courses, get the offers, make your choices and voila! We get shipped off to university. Everyone is doing this, hence we MUST do this too or we will lose out big time next time when we go out to the workforce! We MUST achieve first-class honors in order to get the first pick when we go out to the workforce! We MUST do community service or extra internships in order to boost our portfolio to impress future employers in the workforce! Yes, we MUST do all of these!
But, do we? And to what cost?
Let's say we do get first class honors, an impressive portfolio and a big job offer. Achievement unlocked! But is this really you? Does this job really fill that hole in your existence? Does this job define who you are?
In our scramble for all of these, we miss out little things in life. While walking to a class you are late for, do you notice a homeless man begging for spare change? While throwing away half a donut cause your friends criticize its nutritional value, do you notice a hungry old woman staring at it hungrily? While complaining about how your parents forced you into extra lessons in the past, do you notice a poor child looking at you enviously, wishing he had the same opportunities as you?
The point isn't as simple as us taking whatever we had for granted. The point is seeing past the superficial needs of our lives, and seeing the basic needs of the lives of the less privileged. Yes, we see them on the streets and push on awkwardly when we don't want to spare some change for them; but do we see them with our hearts?
I have seen them on the streets, and my heart has started to really see their need. This it probably the empty hole in my life, and I am going to do something about it to patch it up.
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